


wear your heart on your sleeve (set your sleeve on fire)

by LikeAPanda



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: 20th Century, Alcohol, Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Enemies to Lovers, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Cheating, Love/Hate, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Narcissist Jeonghan, Personality Disorders Study, Psychopathology & Sociopathy, Sociopath Joshua, Violence, i am sincerely sorry, verkwan and woohao only when you squint with both eyes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-09-19
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:27:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26534344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LikeAPanda/pseuds/LikeAPanda
Summary: Joshua had a system, and it workedjust fine. But then Jeonghan came, and it made his system sway with the force of his arrival.-A Sociopath and a Narcissist meet.That's it.That's the story.
Relationships: Boo Seungkwan & Chwe Hansol | Vernon, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Wen Jun Hui | Jun, Hong Jisoo | Joshua/Yoon Jeonghan, Jeon Wonwoo & Xu Ming Hao | The8, Jeon Wonwoo/Kim Mingyu, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Jihoon | Woozi, Kwon Soonyoung | Hoshi/Lee Seokmin | DK
Comments: 10
Kudos: 41





	wear your heart on your sleeve (set your sleeve on fire)

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [A Cure for Addiction](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881076) by [Cruel_Cupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cruel_Cupid/pseuds/Cruel_Cupid). 



> Hey theree;  
> I advice you to read the tags, cause there are gonna be some sensitive topics in here! Just to warn in advance haha
> 
> I also wanted to say that there is not really gonna be actual Romance and Fluff in here, cause the story is literally about a Sociopath and a Narcissist-  
> But they still _are_ gonna be involved in some kind of way!!
> 
> \- - - 
> 
> I read [A Cure for Addiction](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20881076/chapters/49633046) by [Cruel_Cupid](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cruel_Cupid/pseuds/Cruel_Cupid) recently and since then I just couldn't let go of the thought of Joshua as a Sociopath-  
> Nothing in this fic is related to the one of _Cruel_Cupid_ , but if you feel like I copied something or made it too similar, please tell me so I can change it!
> 
> I'm very proud of this fic, and I researched a lot for this (when I say a lot I really mean _a lot_ \- my email will be forever flooded with recommendations on topics about Sociopaths and Narcissists hahah). So I hope you'll like it too! Let yourself be indulged by another point of view on life~
> 
> \- - -
> 
> Before starting, I want to say that the members are **heavily** out of character in this fanfiction. I do NOT intend to say that any of the behaviour presented by a character or any of the described or mentioned illnesses are coherent to the members in real life. These are all fictional characters created by only me and adapted to how I needed them.

He entered Joshua's life when the flowers on the Japanese cherry blossom tree in his front yard began to bloom. It felt like a hurricane raging through the small existence of the town Wonwoo would always call his home. Joshua would watch the cherry blossoms slowly float to the ground with a certain grace, so free of everything, while outside of his little bubble everything would fall so fast, so _shattering_.

  
  
  
  
  


A step over the threshold of his old cottage and Joshua already knew something didn't quite fit in his all-the-same daily life. There was an unusual amount of newly bloomed cherry blossoms on the ground - withering away, withering away - and a laugh hanging in the branches of the tree. Joshua had never cherished this laugh, but today it seemed to place even more shudders between his heart and his fingers. Joshua wanted nothing more but to turn around, for his heart was not yet ready for this unknown, irrepressible force. but the old bakery waited and the freshly baked bread would just go to waste.

"Shua! Good morning! How was your sleep? Did you know Jihoon walked drunk through the streets last night? There's a new citizen in our little village!" Soonyoung's snickering voice could already be heard before his form jumped down the tree with a certain grace and faster than his cherry blossoms could ever float.

Joshua has never quite understood humans. He believed their brains worked in ways not even their own owners could understand. He was convinced there was a certain percentage of predictability when it came to actions responding to words or preceding actions, but surely not every action or reflex could be comprehended. Wonwoo would always tell him how he doesn't have to understand every single action of humans, but Joshua couldn't deal with this lack of knowledge. The humans in this little village he was forced to live in made it rather easy for him - after Joshua had programmed his entire knowledge about humans entirely new, that is. But Kwon Soonyoung had always been a person Joshua could never quite wrap his head around. He had classified him as unpredictable and therefore someone he did not wish to interact with. Kwon Soonyoung was a living enigma. Kwon Soonyoung could not be controlled.

"Stop climbing into my Japanese cherry blossom tree. Stop talking to me. I don't like you." Joshua barely spent a glance at the aggravating being that was Kwon Soonyoung as he walked his known way on the street in front of his cottage, following the pebbles discarded on the cold concrete in a seemingly meaningless pattern.

"Vernon said Jun talked to a ghost in the cemetery again! Kwannie said Vernon almost cried. I don't believe both of them. Ghosts would never speak to Jun, don't you think?", the footsteps following Joshua left a dull aching ringing in the back of his mind, too quiet to enrage him but too insistent to let it pass, "The new stranger is outstandingly beautiful! I believe he comes from the city. I wonder how the city is these days... Seungcheol told me it hasn't changed, but I doubt he knows that when he never leaves his grandmother's bakery to begin with."

The dull aching ringing in the back of his mind has transformed into a repeating mantra of Wonwoo's words that seemed oh so familiar already. But the mantra only saved him from turning around, not from the white appearing on his knuckles as his fingernails bored into the only recently healed crescent wounds on the palms of his hands. Soonyoung had never acknowledged the blood running down Joshua's palms, for his eyes only ever lay in the sky. When Joshua had first seen Soonyoung, his assumption was the boy was not meant to stand on the cold, trapping soil, but rather fly above the clouds as it was the only thing his eyes ever seemed to love. But Kwon Soonyoung had buried his hands in the earth too often, too surely. Joshua had scratched the sentence out of his mind-diary again.

"Chan's been missing for four days already. When he stays away for just a bit longer maybe he can even beat his score of a week! Isn't that exciting? You know, Mingyu said he is dead for sure now. But Mingyu is an idiot."

"Hey Soonyoung", the moment Joshua turned around, his left hand already lay on Soonyoung's waist, his right hand's fingers playing with the other's hair, tucking it behind his ear as Joshua whispered into Soonyoung's ear at a proximity way too close, "Seokmin told me he wanted you to listen to him again. Because the last time you said you liked his voice so much. Don't you want to satisfy his wish?" Joshua could feel the shudders making the younger's waist tremble, anticipation sitting so deeply in Soonyoung's dark, brooding eyes. Joshua did almost not have time to take out his hand from under Soonyoung's shirt, before the latter had run off. Kwon Soonyoung was an enigma. The only thing Joshua was sure of, was that the younger was not one for commitment. He almost felt bad for Jihoon.

  
  
  
  
  


Joshua always made sure to follow his schedule, for it was the only thing not abandoning him in his life. The church bells rang every day at seven o'clock. After an hour of church, with intermissions of singing from the choir with Seokmin, the priest's son, Vernon, told him all about his new connection he had made with God the previous day, until half past eight. At a quarter to nine, the old lady of the bakery set his table and her grandson Seungcheol brought him his croissant and coffee. Joshua would dine for half an hour and then observe the people in front of the bakery's window for the rest of the morning. At two he had an appointment with Wonwoo, until then he would talk to Junhui who could always be found at the cemetery. Junhui was intelligent, Joshua appreciated him. But it was like they always said: every intelligent person is a little bit insane. It was just that Junhui had always been insane. And after talking to Wonwoo, his feet would always carry him to different places.

Today Joshua did not talk to Junhui. It was a bit aggravating for him, as his mind had seeked for something intellectually entertaining. But it had also been his mind that had prevented him from doing so, for it had found something out of the ordinary that had still to be comprehended. There was a new face entering the bakery of the old lady, Seungcheol happily greeting the person as they found a seat at the table just opposite Joshua. Joshua's fingers twitched as the beautiful man had smiled at him warmly. The man did not seem to notice Joshua staring at him for the next half an hour.

"This is Jeonghan. He is new here in our little village." Joshua knew that, he had figured. But despite his dark expression, Minghao didn't leave out on smiling at him with his signature warm smile, already standing up again after only a minute of sitting beside him, gripping the sachet with his rye bread he would buy every morning, never leaving out on giving more money than needed to the old lady. "Don't forget your appointment today at two", Minghao then proceeded to say, his eyes boring into Joshua's as if he would expect to find something there beside the gaping void. "I never forget appointments." "I know. But today is different." The smile of Minghao felt soft, and Joshua felt irritated by the way his eyes shined as if talking to a _child_. Joshua was not aware of what Minghao had meant. It had left him thinking about it longer than he had wished to do.

He was only shaken out of his stupor when Seungcheol brushed over the dirty table, wiping off stray bread crumbs that have gotten lost on there. Seungcheol smiled warmly at him, asking him if everything was alright and reminding him of the time the clock has struck already. Seungcheol's features were soft and his eyes shined with more liveliness than the entire being that was Mingyu. Seungcheol had been easy to read. Because he came right after his grandmother. Seungcheol was the total opposite of his younger brother, which came right after their parents. Their parents had apparently left them when Chan was only 5 years old. And there was this constant trepidation hovering over the bakery, that one day Chan would become too much like his parents.

  
  
  
  
  


Joshua arrived late. But Minghao only smiled at him with a welcoming twinkle in his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the left, and Joshua already knew that he wanted to say something. "Wonwoo is already waiting for you, Joshua." Minghao's words were underlined with a bantering hint. Joshua was always late. And Joshua didn't even bat an eye at Minghao before stepping over the threshold that seperated him from his appointment. Minghao was almighty. Joshua had stopped paying attention to him, as it only aggravated him every time. Because Minghao was good at _everything_. He was inexplicably able to deal with all the situations Joshua had put him through, with a velocity impossible for anyone other than Minghao. He was the perfect protégé for Wonwoo, and Joshua had already told that the latter. Wonwoo had only smiled at him warmly, his eyes shining with a proud glint that Joshua was sure was not meant to be visible.

"Hello, Joshua. You're late again. I think next time we should work on your punctuality." Wonwoo was all soft edges with a kind smile and a sharp mind. And his heart was just as full as his eyes. Wonwoo could easily live off the money Joshua's parents were paying him, but he had too kind of a heart, so there were always unfamiliar people entering and leaving the little house, with occasionally Jihoon lurking around in the bathrooms, waiting for his sessions to either start or end.

Joshua sat down, and Wonwoo was used to not being greeted by the older. "Do you want to talk about the new citizen in our village?" But instead of answering, Joshua only propped his elbows on his knees, hands intertwining in a provocative way, looking at the other all challenging with a dangerous glint in the eyes, briefly glancing at the single Rose standing in a vase so beautiful atop the desk in front of him.

"I see Mingyu left another Rose on your doorstep this morning." And his tone was as challenging as his shimmering eyes, gazing through the room in search of seemingly nothing. In the corner of his eye he saw Wonwoo's own eyes narrowing, but despite that, there was a hue of the pink of a sunset settling on his cheeks. Wonwoo was not as good as Minghao in controlling his own emotions.

"Joshua. We are not here to talk about me. So please, stay on the topic." The tilt of Wonwoo's head gave away how short his patience was today, and Joshua was _delighted._

"Isn't it sad how you had to give up your promising life, just because two influential people wanted you to take care of their son, who doesn't even care about you? Isn't it downright _pitiful_ how now your only attempt at love is a farmer boy who's too afraid of his father to properly confess to you?", a laugh bubbling up inside his chest, a knowing smirk settling itself on his own lips, "Your life went down the d-"

"That's _enough_!" Wonwoo was all soft edges with a kind smile and a sharp mind. But occasionally Wonwoo could become all hard edges with sad eyes and a soft mind. And every time that happened, the door to the office opened and Minghao stepped inside, setting down a cup of tea in front of his boss. And then, when Wonwoo's eyes were buried deep enough inside his cup, Minghao left the room again, brushing Joshua's hand and leaving something white in it. Junhui always called it _The Magic Pill_ , because it made Joshua shut up effectively. The only response being an often-seen smile on his lips. _Because Joshua was even better than Minghao._

And sometimes Joshua thought, maybe Minghao loved Wonwoo too, with how much he did for the older, with how much he wanted to please him. But Wonwoo didn't love Minghao, and Minghao _knew that_.

Minghao was almighty. But he had one weak spot making him vulnerable. And Joshua always stayed _winning_.

  
  
  


Wonwoo always thought he had Joshua under control, and to some extent he really _had_. Wonwoo was a person Joshua was somewhat afraid of. So when Wonwoo got all sharp edges, Joshua just stayed, letting every word the other had to say drown him in a flood of information.

Those sessions never took long, because Wonwoo never had enough patience to actually listen to all the unnecessary things Joshua told him just to please him.

So as soon as his session was over, he left the building, playing with the white pill in his hand as if it was a trophy that was actually _hard_ to achieve. But the moment he put it on his lower lip, it was gone.

"Drugs? I didn't know I would come across something like that in this shabby little village." There was the newbie, twirling the little pill between his thumb and index finger, seemingly inspecting it, but his eyes lay on Joshua, all analyzing.

"The deeper you head, the worse it gets." And Joshua's smile was too, challenging, just as the one of the stranger.

"Very poetic, _little boy_. But there's nothing I haven't seen yet. I'm from the city after all." With a somewhat nod of his head to the side, a smirk planted itself on Jeonghan's lips, as if his statement should tell Joshua _something_. But Joshua didn't like the other, so he didn't waste his time on analyzing the said words.

And Joshua didn't like the way Jeonghan brushed the white pill between his fingers over Joshua's lower lip, forcing it inside his mouth. There was something arrogant about this action, something _haughty_.

Joshua's eyes narrowed, his mind accelerating with the force of unknown information flooding it.

"Don't think I didn't see you staring at me this morning. But I can't blame you, I am really beautiful after all."

Jeonghan left with a chortle lying on his lips, entering the house Joshua had left just now. There were always unfamiliar people entering and leaving the little house, with occasionally Jihoon lurking around in the bathrooms, waiting for his sessions to either start or end. And now sometimes, you could see Jeonghan there, too.

  
  
  
  
  


The moment Joshua had arrived at the cemetery, the morphine had already kicked in. The dizziness made it fairly difficult to tramp without occasionally almost-falling over the tombs scattered around the place. A quiet laugh carried with the wind accompanied his stumbling steps. And Joshua laughed _too_. Because everything just felt _light_ and _just right_. And Joshua knew his half-lidded eyes were betraying him, but it seemed like the corpses leaving their graves laughed _too_.

Arriving at the old willow in the middle of all of this, cold hands helped him steady his breath. They were wrapped around Joshua's waist, forcing him to sit down and linger. Junhui's hands were always so _cold_ , but they felt especially good atop his warm cheeks, colored red by the chill.

"Where's my share?" Junhui always only _mumbled_. He once said it was to not disturb the dead. Joshua had thought it was ridiculous, because they were dead _for a reason_. But Junhui was extraordinarily intelligent, so Joshua left him his thought.

"I only got one." And everyone other than Junhui would have looked at him all dumbfounded, because Joshua said his words with a _giggle_. But everyone else wasn't Junhui after all. And because Junhui also wasn't everyone else, the boy in front of him sealed their lips and tongues in a sloppy attempt to get a bit of the intoxication out of Joshua and into his own system. Joshua knew it wouldn't _actually_ work, but he enjoyed the extra batch of ecstasy _just too much_.

So with his head all dizzy, limbs dangling and legs crossed with the man sitting beside him, Joshua could say he felt somewhat _content_. It was the breathy laugh making his ears buzz comfortably, it were the cold hands caressing his own in such a warm way, it was the way his eyes didn't let him see the world all clear _for once_. 

"I love you." And Joshua's words were all slurred, barely understandable and underlined with a hint of a giggle.

"No you don't." With Junhui's eyes all droopy he always looked a bit intoxicated, a bit dizzy and away from this world. His breath fanned over Joshua's lips in a laugh. And Joshua just hummed, agreeing, pinching Junhui's right cheek with an intention unknown. It made both of them giggle, fall over each other and drown in each other as their breaths mixed with the wind.

"What do you think of Jeonghan?", Junhui asked in a hushed voice. "The new guy", he then added, humming approvingly as if content with his explanation. And Joshua looked the other in the eyes. Under his drooping eyelids, Junhui seemed to glow, his eyes glistening from the sun's reflection in them. Joshua thought he did well in choosing the most beautiful person in this village.

"He seems just like you", Junhui added then, with a thoughtful hum. Because Joshua didn't seem to answer any time soon, with his gaze all sunk in the other's soul. But with that, Joshua's grip on Junhui's exposed waist tightened, _tightened._

"He's not." It was miraculous, how Junhui didn't even seem to bat an eye, looking at Joshua, still, with half a giggle lying on his lips, even though Joshua's grip seemed to just tighten and tighten _even more_. "He's _not_." And it was almost a growl, ripping through the dizzy air that they were hovering in. Blood didn't seem to bother Junhui at all. "He's not", he then agreed, leaving a dry kiss on the tip of the older's nose. With that, Joshua loosened his grip again, content with the answer. Because Joshua was _better._

  
  
  
  
  


When the sun began to set between the trees and all behind the mountains, Joshua always left the cemetery. Because Junhui wanted to be alone when the ghosts came to visit. So Joshua always left, leaving him behind with swaying steps and a giggle falling from his still intoxicated lips.

The grocery store was mostly empty at this time of day, apart from Jihoon occasionally lurking around, torn between the shelves full of water and the shelves full of alcohol. Joshua never was torn. Joshua always headed straight to the shelf Jihoon tried so hard to stay away from, grabbing a bottle of something strong, with it almost slipping out of his sweaty, quivering hands.

"Alcohol doesn't go well with drugs, you know." And Joshua was _exasperated._ Because Jeonghan always seemed to be exactly where he _shouldn't_. "I know that. I come from the city after all." And Joshua _despised_ the way Jeonghan seemed so, so steady, leaning against the food shelf like it _belonged_ to him. With his foot propped up against the abundance of packages of noodles, left hand playing with his chin-long, wavy blonde hair, Joshua's mind wandered to _how beautiful_ it would look, giving him a push to his _pompous_ chest, seeing him _hit_ the ground with a _scream_.

Seungkwan looked genuinely scared when Joshua slammed the bottle onto the counter with a force enough to make the windows rattle. And Seungkwan _always_ was scared of Joshua's narrowed eyes when he looked at him, always standing behind Vernon like a personal pet after morning church had ended.

The money Joshua threw right after the bottle was too much, and he _knew that_. And he _didn't care_ as the coins landed scattered all over the floor behind and in front and next to the counter, stepping through the doors too intact to follow their intended automatic way and open up on their own. It was a not welcome reminder of his morning as he heard footsteps following him, leaving a dull aching ringing in the back of his intoxicated mind, too quiet to enrage him but too insistent to let it pass.

"Leave me _the fuck_ alone!" The tone of voice normally never failed in scaring the dumb people in this dumb village away, but Jeonghan came from the _dumb_ city after all. So the big stone cutting through the air was another attempt of Joshua, failing to hit the intended target with miles. Joshua blamed his dizzy mind, his swaying steps, his quivering arms. Jeonghan only laughed.

Joshua was _furious_. And he was so, so _dizzy_ the blood ran down his left hand again, with the cold of the bottle freezing his right hand's palm. And Jeonghan's laugh was just so, so _arrogant_ Joshua's right hand lifted itself with a threatening tremble. But before the bottle could leave his grip, the world went black without the sun disappearing.

Chan was back. Way too early, were it up to Soonyoung.

  
  
  
  
  


_'you are all insane in here'_ , it read on the note tucked beneath the alcohol bottle Joshua could faintly remember buying the previous night. _'the wounds on your hands are your own fault. don't even think i've treated them'_ , it read on the backside. Chan's handwriting seemed to change every time he came back from being lost without a trace. Chan's left hook seemed to get stronger every time he came back from being lost without a trace. Joshua's head buzzed uncomfortably.

The church bells didn't ring for Joshua this morning.

"Give me Chan." And there wasn't even an ounce of a question following his words, because Joshua knew that Chan was there, behind the counter, reading a book and ignoring the responsibilities his parents left him with. And Joshua was never _wrong_ , because seconds later, Chan lifted himself up, looking Joshua in the eyes with a challenging glint behind his narrowing eyelids, followed by a hushed _"What did you do this time"_ from seemingly too far away, feeling Seungcheol's eyes wavering.

But Seungcheol's wavering eyes were without reason, as Joshua's lips stretched into a smile, leaving his eyes behind. "Channie! Welcome back! How are you? Where have you been these days? I missed you so much!" And Joshua could see Seungcheol flinching with wide eyes as Joshua's head tilted to the side, his hands intertwining in an attempt to steady himself.

"Don't talk bullshit, Shua. You didn't miss me an ounce." The snort following those words let Joshua scrunch his nose in distaste. He hated this shabby village. The humans here made it rather easy for him to understand them, but most of them were just as ruined as he was.

So Joshua just turned around, leaving the little bakery with his breakfast set readily on the table beside the window.

  
  
  
  
  


When Chan left the city for the first time, everyone was _frightened_. Junhui had told him the story, for it happened when Chan was only 12 years old, one year before Joshua came to this little village.

Soonyoung was the only one that did _not_ help searching. Because he had told the others that Chan would come back _for sure_. _They just wouldn't believe me,_ Soonyoung had interjected, shaking his head disapprovingly.

 _But who would believe the crazy one, with his head always only in the clouds,_ Junhui had whispered into Joshua's ear, watching Soonyoung humming in content, looking around, then adding, _they still don't understand how much Soonyoung actually notices in this little village._ Joshua had nodded at that, because it was _true_.

So when Chan came back after two days, peace came back to the citizens. People still didn't trust Soonyoung when, every time Chan disappeared, he told them that he _would come back eventually._ Soonyoung has been telling them those words for seven years now.

And every time Chan came back again, there was something different about him. Joshua was unsure, where the youngest's journeys take him to, but he seemed to come back a little bit more intelligent, a little bit more knowing, a little bit more _grown-up_ every time.

Seokmin always mumbled that Chan went to the city. But Chan never actually told them.

  
  
  
  
  


"Shua!" The faint call for his name let Joshua halt in his aggravated steps, his feet hurting from the pebbles being seemingly randomly sprawled across the pavement. Joshua hated this shabby village. But not everyone here was as ruined as he was.

"Shua! Wait please!" And Joshua _listened_ , turning around with warm crinkles around his eyes, lips colored with a smile. Mingyu never saw the tightness Joshua's smiles brought with them. So Mingyu always smiled back, brightly, dazzlingly and full of _liveliness._

"Mingyu! Fancy seeing you here! How are you?" And this time, when Joshua tilted his head to the side, Mingyu just smiled brighter. Hugging Joshua light-heartedly, squeezing his shoulders and patting his back. When Mingyu stepped back again, he held Joshua's hands with trembling fingers and nervous eyes.

"I'm great! How are you? I have to tell you something. Like, I just made a decision and I wanted to ask you what you think of it, like, you always helped me till now and you always have the best advice, so your opinion really means a lot to me, you know? So, anyway, how are you?" Mingyu always rambled when he was nervous. Joshua had already observed that the first day he was in this village, when Mingyu spoke to Junhui, wanting advice on something. Mingyu was _afraid_ of Junhui and Joshua knew exactly why. It seems like Mingyu still doesn't know why. Joshua had approached him a week later. Now Mingyu doesn't speak to Junhui anymore.

"I'm good, Mingyu. Tell me what you need." The smile Joshua always spared Mingyu was full of encouragement and fondness. When Chan was near, he would always throw Joshua a gaze full of hatred for all the deception hovering around them in a cloud impenetrable. Joshua always made sure to have Mingyu's back shielding those glances.

"So, you know about how I like Wonwoo… like really much", accompanied by big quivering eyes, his words seemed to stutter even more, "and I've decided that I wanted to tell him very soon… because, you know, I think he likes me too." Mingyu's eyes were too dizzy to see the corner of Joshua's mouth twist in mockery. Mingyu's eyes were too big and dreamy to see anything other than _Wonwoo._ So Joshua's eyes turned in sympathy, mouth twitching sadly.

"I don't know, Mingyu. You know, your father talked to me recently, after morning church. And I was so shocked! How he talked about how disgusting faggots were… and so many things I don't want to say aloud right now… I'm so sorry, Mingyu…" Joshua just barely felt Mingyu's hands jerking before leaving his entirely, hiding behind his back with a tremble, sadness invading his lively eyes.

"Oh", 

and then, 

"It's okay. It's not your fault. Thank you for telling me." Mingyu turned around, but halting in his steps as if there were still thoughts bothering his mind. Joshua waited, and Mingyu turned his body once again, looking Joshua in the eyes with a timid glance, sprinkled with confusion.

"But Jeonghan said-" And Joshua was _furious._

"Jeonghan just wants to deceive you, Mingyu! He's only been here for a few days, and you believe him just like that?" Joshua's words left his lips with a bit more force than he had intended to. It made Mingyu flinch, widen his eyes. Joshua shifted his expression in seconds, letting a warm smile color his lips, his eyes wantedly showing an emotion that should soothe the other's frown between his eyebrows. Joshua's gentle touch on Mingyu's arm made Mingyu ease a bit again. The younger smiled slightly, his eyes showing how he found Joshua's explanation somewhat reasonable. So he turned around again, with a nod of his head.

When Mingyu left with his back turned to Joshua, the older waved with his right hand, slightly clenching his fingers with a smile full of a feeling of _winning_.

Mingyu's eyes were too big and dreamy to see anything other than Wonwoo. Mingyu never saw the fond eyes his father sent his way, accompanied by a silent wish for his son to always be happy, _no matter how_.

Mingyu cared too much. And that made him _vulnerable_.

"You looked really hot doing that", the breath fanned over the shell of his ear so suddenly it should have made Joshua flinch in surprise, "But I have to say that I don't appreciate you fiddling with my plan like that." The soft breath changed into a huff, annoyed, irritated. Then, Jeonghan strolled around him, lightly brushing over Joshua's arm in a silent thought.

"You know, Wonwoo didn't tell me of what is wrongly wired in your brain, but the people in this city are really easy", Jeonghan's head snapped up, his eyes boring into the other's as if he would expect to find something there beside the gaping void, "as you possibly already know", making a pause Jeonghan probably expected to be an act of suspension, " _Sociopath_."

And Joshua only rolled his eyes, turning away from Jeonghan's triumphant smile, too conceited to mean anything to him. And his eyes went away, drifting over houses and trees and fields full of nothing. Soonyoung walked out of one of those houses. It was the wrong house for him, and Joshua _knew_ what he was doing in there. But Jihoon never knew, seemingly, because Jihoon only always _worked_. And sometimes Joshua _did_ wonder what Jihoon was actually working on.

"This whole village runs after your command, doesn't it, _little boy_?" Joshua didn't expect a snort following those words, but it did. And it made him feel _delighted_. Because Joshua was the _best_.

"You don't like me fiddling with your plan, and I don't like you fiddling with my toys. So stay out of it." Joshua's eyes followed Soonyoung's steps, hurrying away from the house full of breathy voices and secrets untold. The breath fanning over the shell of his ear was there again, and Joshua trembled. Not out of arousal, but out of the knowledge that Jeonghan toying with his system was _inevitable_.

  
  
  
  
  


Joshua heard the knocks on his door before they even resonated within the empty rooms of his cottage. Minghao's knocks were easy to identify, as they sounded softer but way more determined than the ones of Soonyoung, and an ounce more lifeless than the ones of Mingyu. There never was anyone other than those approaching his home.

"Joshua, I know you are in there. Please open the door." Joshua was in the process of cleaning the plate he had used to make up for the missed breakfast at the bakery this morning. His thoughts lay in the detail, rubbing over the same spot for over an hour now, trying to get clean what could not be cleaned inside his mind. Minghao's voice stayed a steady buzz in the back of his thoughts.

"Chan came back yesterday! But I think you already know that. It's sad he didn't beat his high score. If it were up to me, he could have tried a little bit harder, don't you think? Seokmin got offered a great deal from the city this morning!", Soonyoung has been scurrying around Joshua's living room for exactly 24 minutes and 41 seconds, and Joshua's patience was wearing thin, "The old lady in the house full of dolls is about to die. Wonwoo said she doesn't have long anymore. Vernon said God has revealed himself to him, in all his glory and shining like the sun. I think he sounds like a boaster, but you didn't hear that from me." And the way Soonyoung jumped from Joshua's still unused couch made him clench his fingers just a bit tighter around the cloth, made him drown in his mind just a bit more.

Because Wonwoo had always told him how Joshua didn't have to understand every action humans did. And Wonwoo always told him how humans could be so, so different from each other, being loud and being quiet, being shy and being bold. Humans could aggravate him and humans could calm him down. Humans could be just like him or entirely different. Wonwoo said humans were unpredictable, uncontrollable, because they weren't machines. Humans worked with a mind and with a heart, not with a program. So Joshua didn't have to understand everyone of them.

Joshua always thought Wonwoo talked bullshit. Wonwoo didn't know what he was talking about, because Wonwoo hadn't grasped the concept of humans and humanity in its entirety. Humanity was a vulnerable system, and if you clinked yourself into the correct code line, you could make changes, corrections, and _control_ the system.

For Joshua, humanity was a game. A program someone invented some day for others to fool around with, have their own way. It was all about analysis and understanding. When looked into the depth, the base of all of that, humans were all programmed the same way.

And Joshua was _good_. He was perfect _,_ grandiose _,_ intelligent _, almighty._ Joshua had his marionette-strings scattered around the whole village, occasionally pulling here and there, just as he wished. It was _perfect_.

And Joshua was so _aggravated_ when the new guy came, throwing his own marionette-strings over Joshua's own ones, covering them and tangling them up in all the wrong places. It was not the way it should be, it was not the way it had to be. And it made Joshua _furious_.

"I know why you missed your appointment today. So please consider coming tomorrow. You need it and you know that, Joshua." Minghao's voice was gone then, fading out by the front door too fast for Joshua to comprehend fully. Joshua's plate slipped, fell, _shattered_ to make up for the quiet that unfolded because of that.

  
  
  
  
  


_Every human can be controlled._ Joshua _knew this._ Everything he needed was a weak spot making them vulnerable. A weak spot he could dock onto.

Jeonghan was not empathetic, nice nor kind. He did not care about other people. Jeonghan showed narcissistic traits. He was snooty, _haughty_. He cared what _others_ thought of him. He thought he was the _best_. A smirk coloring Joshua's lips, his eyes closing as he leaned back in his chair, throwing all the books he had stolen from Wonwoo's office and skimmed through the last few hours from his study table.

_That made him vulnerable._

  
  
  
  
  


So when the sun began to leave their little village to rest for the night, Joshua strode out of his cottage, right through the cherry blossoms lying on the ground, hearing a faint echo of a laugh hanging in the branches before following the pebbles on the street in the direction of the grocery store.

The sun left the village, but the light never left the grocery store, always being open for people getting lost on their way to the city, traveling through their little village. But Seungkwan's parents never accompanied the moon, so Seungkwan did. He could always be found behind the counter, staring into the void, occasionally watching Jihoon lurking around, torn between the shelves full of water and the shelves full of alcohol.

Jihoon wasn't there today, meaning he wasn't done working yet, or meaning Soonyoung has decided to sleep at home for once, taking care of his boyfriend. But Seungkwan was there. And he looked at Joshua with a smile hovering over his lips, fingers fiddling with the hem of his shirt, gripping too tightly.

Joshua's eyes were full of tears and Seungkwan was visibly _confused_ and _hesitant_ , eyes darting around.

"Seungkwan, why did you hit me yesterday?", and Joshua's voice was dripping of pain and bewilderment. Seungkwan's eyes widened even more, if even possible. Joshua watched as the younger's mouth opened and closed in confusion, indecisive in what to do, how to _react_.

"I- I didn't hit you?" The end of the sentence lightened, seeming more like a question than a statement, really. It made Joshua's fingers twitch in anticipation, more tears running down his cheeks.

"But… but you did! I can still feel my cheek throbbing with how hard your hit was", Joshua's lips started to quiver, his cheeks red from the cold outside and the warmth inside of him, "You said you hit me because Jeonghan told you so! I thought we were friends, Seungkwan? How could you betray me like that?" Joshua watched in _delight_ as Seungkwan's hands began to flutter through the air, eyes beginning to tear up as well as his gaze quivering with perplexity.

"Do you really like Jeonghan that much…? That you betray your friend and hurt him? Do you really want to support Jeonghan's bad deeds just like that?" And Joshua's knees wobbled, making him sink to the ground and wail with hurt, his hands trembling with failed attempts to grip the floor beneath them, _to steady himself_. Seungkwan was on Joshua's side in seconds, taking him by the shoulders, holding him, mumbling things Joshua was unsure if to comfort Joshua or just himself.

"I'm so sorry, Shua! That you had to go through that! It's all my fault, it will never happen again! I promise! I will never listen to Jeonghan again, you're more important to me!" Joshua's chest shook with the force of a laugh held back. Seungkwan hugged him just more tightly, believing Joshua wanted to be stronger than to sob even more.

Seungkwan was empathetic. He cared for other people, their feelings being of more worth to him than his own. Sometimes, Joshua doubted that Seungkwan even _had_ feelings of his own, because it always just seemed like he was the mirror of his opposite, with his face always mimicking the other's joy and pain and fear, with his body always trembling and jumping in joy _too_.

Seungkwan was empathetic, _too_ empathetic even. _That made him vulnerable._

  
  
  
  
  


The next day, the church bells rang for Joshua again. Vernon talked to him about what Soonyoung had already told him the previous day. Seungkwan stood behind Vernon like a personal pet, watching Joshua with still pitiful and apologizing eyes. The old lady from the bakery set his table at a quarter to nine, her grandson Seungcheol bringing him his croissant and coffee and Joshua dined for half an hour, like always.

But today, Joshua did not talk to Junhui. Again. And it was a bit aggravating for him, as his mind had seeked for something intellectually entertaining. But today, the new face walked through the doors of the bakery, looking around as if searching for something, before the gaze settled on Joshua's warm eyes. Jeonghan took a seat opposite of him. But before Jeonghan could open his mouth, expressing what he wanted to say with his eyes all narrowed, Joshua smiled.

"Good morning, Jeonghan. You look especially beautiful today!" Joshua tilted his head to the side, like he had learnt from Minghao every time the other had said something that should ease his opposite, make him feel welcome. And Joshua saw Jeonghan hesitating, struggling inside, battling with his own need of appreciation. Jeonghan couldn't suppress his smile.

"Thank you! I also noticed that; how dazzling I look today. My hair is especially shiny and soft! Do you want to touch it?" And the last question wasn't even a question at all, and Joshua knew that, and Joshua knew _why_. So his hand found itself in the other's hair, patting it, threading through it. His eyes widened, looking at Jeonghan with a smile.

"It really is soft! How did you do that? You must be a God or something - my hair is _never_ that soft!" It made Joshua cringe at himself, flinch for a millisecond, too less for Jeonghan to notice. And Jeonghan _thrived_ with Joshua's attention. It made him all giddy, smiling brightly. And then Jeonghan started to talk about himself. _Only_ about himself. And Joshua felt _delighted_. Because he had been right. _He was always right_. It made the corners of his lips lift in a knowing smile.

  
  
  
  
  


Wonwoo was intelligent. Too intelligent for his own good. Because when you were intelligent, the world always seemed a tad too unbearable.

Wonwoo was intelligent. Exactly the perfect amount of intelligent for him to finish college earlier than humans would deem as normal, double majoring in psychology and medicine. Joshua's parents had found him in the middle of a crisis, when Joshua had started liking the shabby village he was forced to live in just a tad _too much._ When Joshua had started spinning his marionette-strings between minds and souls and hearts a tad _too surely_.

Wonwoo was all soft edges with a kind smile and a sharp mind. Wonwoo was a person Joshua was somewhat afraid of. Because there was just so much Joshua could do against him.

When you were intelligent, the world always seemed a tad too unbearable. When the world always seemed a tad too unbearable, then having to deal with a Sociopath was really the last someone wanted. Joshua could see it in Wonwoo's eyes, how he wished he hadn't accepted the offer of Joshua's parents, how he wished he hadn't stayed three years already in this little village.

Wonwoo was too intelligent for his own good. _That made him vulnerable._

"Humanity is so fragile", Joshua hummed. And Wonwoo always knew what the other was talking about. _Actually_ knew. "It's like building a tower out of stones without using something for them to stick together. If you nudge just one of the stones, or even pull it out, everything just _falls apart_. Humanity is _so fragile_."

And Wonwoo always only listened to Joshua. Because he knew that he can't change his mind just like that, just like the one of a normal human being.

"And my parents thought they were so _slick_ when they threw me into this place", holding his hand in the air, Joshua observed it, rotating it, inspecting his fingers, seemingly lost in mind, "But they didn't consider that this village, as little as it is, also just had a tower built of unsteady stones piled over each other. And even when this tower is _so small_ , it doesn't change the fact I could always just pull out a stone and make it all _tumble down_."

Wonwoo needed to _understand_ Joshua first. Because if he understood Joshua, then maybe he could put a bit of glue between the first few stones of the little stone tower that was their village.

Joshua smiled, a laugh bubbling up inside his chest, making his lips quiver in a provocative manner, making his hand drop into his lap. And Joshua always only looked at Wonwoo, never really addressed him, because Joshua knew that Wonwoo was intelligent, and he _actually_ understood what he was talking about.

And Wonwoo had to agree with Joshua, because humanity _was_ fragile. But Wonwoo also didn't agree with Joshua, because Joshua would never dare to pull out stones just like that. Because like this, his marionette-strings winded around the tower would _snap_.

Joshua always only looked at Wonwoo. And Joshua could read Wonwoo's thoughts just like that.

"But I have to admit that my parents are not _that_ dumb. Because the tower of this town really _is_ small. It would be difficult to pull out a stone without it affecting the rest of the tower." Joshua hummed, only hummed for a while. Wonwoo's head tilted to the side, his fingers playing with the pen in his hand, observing how Joshua's facial lineaments smoothed out, not moving an inch.

"But it's really _tempting_. I really don't like how boastful the strings of Jeonghan are, all around my own", Joshua's eyes narrowed, the corners of his lips lifting up just a _tad_ , "Pulling out a stone, letting the strings snap _in half_." Joshua's eyes widened with a laugh, his silent giggles signaling Wonwoo that their session was over.

  
  
  
  
  


When Joshua left Wonwoo's room, he didn't head for the exit. He headed for the bathroom, because occasionally, there was Jihoon lurking around, waiting for his sessions to either start or end. Joshua has never actually understood _when_ Jihoon's sessions were. Because they always seemed to be scattered over the face of the clock.

But when Joshua entered the bathroom, there was Jihoon, sitting on the sink with his legs crossed in an uncomfortable manner, his hands on his face as if to hide it. But his eyes pierced the mirror, lying on himself, inspecting seemingly every inch of his appearance, breathing heavily.

Joshua didn't acknowledge Jihoon, heading straight to one of the stalls, disappearing behind the door and then appearing again, his left hand filled with something that shouldn't be in the confines of this trivial room. Jihoon's eyes perked up, perked up but went down to Joshua's grip. There was a faint smile coloring his lips, but it carried even less mirth than his hollow eyes.

They left Wonwoo's home in a frenzy, past the unfamiliar people always entering and leaving the little house, ignoring their unfamiliar stares brushing over them. Joshua could hear Jihoon giggle, but it felt more forced than anything. And Joshua was _delighted_. Because it would be _so easy_ like this.

Joshua had never actually been in Jihoon's house, his doors and windows always closed tight from the prying eyes of others. But there was a garden just behind the little cottage. Filled with trees and flowers, it was the only piece making the house look lively and alive. Jihoon's hands were calloused, probably from his work, as he grabbed after the bottle in Joshua's grip. It looked so easy, robbing the bottle of its head, taking a sip. It was way too much for the beginning, but Joshua stayed quiet.

"I hate him", Jihoon murmured, almost slurred despite his senses not yet being fogged. And Joshua knew who he meant, despite Jihoon not uttering a name. "How the most bewitching words leave his mouth and the next second he is up and away, sharing his mouth with someone else. I hate them both." It was seldom, seeing actual tears leaving Jihoon's eyes. But now they were there, and they were realer than the betrayal he felt from his lover.

"You love him. And he loves you." There was something true about that, Joshua thought. Because despite everything, when the world seemed at its end once again, they both lay in their arms again, holding onto each other and making promises they knew they couldn't keep.

Joshua has never quite understood humans.

"He says I work too much. He says I care too much", Jihoon laughed, dryly, "I say he cares too _little_." Another gulp, even bigger this time. Joshua pried the bottle out of Jihoon's grip, just because he wanted the feeling of ecstasy _too_. The burning running down his insides felt just _too good_. But too familiar to spark joy.

"I say he cares too little", Joshua repeated, agreeing, with his eyes boring into the ones opposite from him. Jihoon was sitting, his legs crossed in an uncomfortable manner, his now unoccupied hands on his face as if to hide it. Joshua thought Jihoon looked older than him today. Joshua spun the bottle a bit, settling it between their legs almost touching, the cool of the bottle pressing into his skin a bit uncomfortable. Then he took the smaller's hands, encircling them gently with his own, warm from the alcohol running through his veins.

"He's an asshole, but he loves you and cares for you and you can't let him go. He's the only pillar in your life, holding the crumbling roof above your head." Jihoon looked at Joshua all expecting, his gaze lying on the older's lips, following the words leaving them with a dancing tune. Joshua left a kiss on the other's forehead. Because Jihoon was looking at him all expecting, his gaze lying on his lips. It made Jihoon close his eyes and even out his breath that hadn't calmed down since they had left Wonwoo's little house. Joshua left another kiss on Jihoon's right cheek, the left one, Jihoon's neck below his left ear.

"You love him. And he loves you", Joshua repeated then, too close to Jihoon's ear, caressing his hands so, so gently, "so don't let someone steal him away from you."

With those words, Jihoon's eyes snapped open again, his gaze boring into Joshua's eyes, as if he would expect to find something there beside the gaping void. Jihoon knew that Joshua was talking about someone else, not Seokmin like always. He could hear it in the way Joshua breathed out his words, a tad more strained than usual. It made him take another sip from the bottle clutched between their legs too close. The bottle was half empty by now. Joshua deplored how he seemed to be at a disadvantage today.

"Say what you want to say and don't always make it so dramatic, for fucks sake." Jihoon could always get a bit foul-mouthed when his senses gave in. That's a side Joshua really liked about him. It made him grab the bottle, spin it a bit before setting it onto his lips and letting the fluid enter his mouth. When Joshua set the bottle down again, Jihoon's gaze had darkened even more.

"I recently saw Soonyoung, you know", Joshua hummed, playing with Jihoon's fingers that had been lying on his lap, limp, "And I believe he has started fooling around with someone new, Jeonghan possibly, very much." And the fingers in his hands shifted from limp to tense in a matter of seconds. But Jihoon's eyes stayed all the same.

"And I can't confirm at all, but Vernon had told me something, and you know how trustworthy Vernon is", Joshua said that with the intent that Vernon was a son of God, and he kept on praising himself on how he would never lay a lie onto his own tongue, rather would he die, "Vernon said how he had heard Jeonghan talking to Soonyoung yesterday, hidden in the shadow of a house. And apparently Jeonghan had talked to Soonyoung, about how he wanted him all to himself. And all in the same breath he demanded for Soonyoung to leave you, as Jeonghan himself would be a better fit to your lover."

It was seldom, seeing actual tears leaving Jihoon's eyes. But now they were there, leaving Jihoon's eyes in a flood, as if with the intent to leave their owner back all dried out. Jihoon's lips quivered in a sob unreleased, but his eyes carried a determination seen not often in them.

"Soonyoung is _mine_."

And yes, Joshua was sure of that, he was _so damn sure_.

Because Jihoon was alone. Jihoon was lonely. Jihoon only had Soonyoung to love him, and that made him _vulnerable_. 

  
  
  
  
  


Joshua didn't like how boastful Jeonghan's marionette-strings looked like. They were wrapped all around his own, preventing them from shifting and being doubled, _tripled_.

Joshua didn't like how boastful Jeonghan's marionette-strings looked like. So he made sure to _weaken_ them. and Joshua was _the best_. Because after two more weeks, he could see them fading again. They lost their dazzling strength, got cuts from the wariness the other citizens of this village bestowed him.

And it had been _so easy_. Because Jeonghan didn't care about other people's emotions, but he did care about what others _thought_ of him. When there were no more compliments thrown his way, but rather sceptical looks and averted eyes, marionette-strings could only be loosened.

After two weeks, the people in this little village started wearing apprehensive looks whenever Jeonghan crossed their ways. They seemed a tad more careful than before.

It made Jeonghan wail in _anger_.

Because Jeonghan knew whose fault it was, knew that there was someone even more insane than him pulling at their strings. And Jeonghan tried to _fix it,_ rescue the strings slowly crumbling beneath his fingers. But every time Jeonghan tried to send a kind word to someone, an alluring sentence, they looked at him with darkened gazes and weariness gleaming in their eyes.

Joshua had researched. He had skimmed through books over books he had stolen from Wonwoo's office, till his eyes went droopy, his mind fuzzy, his grip weaker. Joshua was _informed_.

It was like Wonwoo always thought was the best way to approach someone seemingly not being a "normal human being" (Joshua was sure people thought those words. Sometimes he could hear them whispering, words floating through the air). Joshua needed to _understand_ Jeonghan first. Because if he understood him, he could keep him close, prevent him from invading his system once again.

Jeonghan was a narcissist - it read in the documents Minghao kept locked up in the drawer of the closet behind the counter. Assuming Joshua could trust Wonwoo's books, then narcissists seeked excessive admiration, appreciation, someone to tell them that they're correct. _Constantly._

Joshua had needed some time to understand what the books had presented him. Joshua doesn't understand nor like those needs of Jeonghan, but Joshua understands that it is necessary to satisfy those needs, for the other to stay under Joshua's control. For Jeonghan to stay with Joshua where he can keep an eye on him.

After two weeks, Jeonghan never kept too much distance between him and Joshua. And Joshua liked being alone, but Jeonghan didn't. And it made blood run down Joshua's fingers with the fact he had to accept the other's needs when he wanted to keep his marionette-strings more prominent than the ones of the other.

"You look quite beautiful today." Joshua always welcomed Jeonghan with a sentence like this, when Jeonghan approached him on the street, or when Jeonghan visited him at his cottage once again. Joshua knew it lifted the other's mood, made a smile appear on the other's angelic face. Joshua could always still see the abhorrence Jeonghan beared for him gleaming behind his twinkling gaze, despite that.

Jeonghan didn't like being alone. And because Jeonghan didn't like being alone, and also didn't have anyone else accepting his presence, Jeonghan always searched for Joshua. Jeonghan didn't work. At least had Joshua never seen him doing such. Joshua also didn't work. And Joshua loathed his parents, but at least they sent him money (not like they had too little of it, anyway).

And because Jeonghan didn't work, and Joshua didn't work either, Jeonghan always was with him, following him around, hanging on his sleeves.

Even now Jeonghan hung on his sleeve, despite them only being in Joshua's home. But Jeonghan had developed something Joshua could only declare as some sort of an _anxiety of losing things._ Joshua didn't complain. How could he, when like this Jeonghan listened to every of his words?

That is, as long as Jeonghan didn't talk about himself.

And they somehow worked. Because Joshua had too few emotions and Jeonghan had too many. It was some sort of a balance. Joshua controlling every one of Jeonghan's steps, and Jeonghan following.

Jeonghan always talked about things Joshua couldn't follow, couldn't seem to understand. Joshua thought Jeonghan lived in a fantasy world, accessible to himself alone.

"You know, in the city, there was this man. And he loved me!", Jeonghan giggled, twisting the sleeve of Joshua's shirt between his fingers, his chin set on Joshua's left shoulder, "He gifted me all sorts of things. Houses, stores, clothes." Jeonghan's breath fanned over Joshua's ear, hovered in the air in front of him. And Joshua enjoyed the smell of alcohol, but Jeonghan somehow let it seem detestable. Joshua took a sip of the bottle, his nose buried deeply inside the bottle's neck.

"I had him wrapped around my little finger. Because rich people are _so easy_." Sometimes Joshua thought they were somehow similar. But only seconds after that thought, he silenced it with blood running down his fingers once again. They were _not_ similar. "They give you everything you want if you just satisfy their needs, make them relax for once."

Joshua could feel Jeonghan's eyes on him, boring into the side of his face as Joshua skimmed through the book he had found in Mingyu's home. Joshua knew Jeonghan thought about trying the same method with Joshua, too. But Joshua also knew that Jeonghan knew that he wasn't as easy as that. So Jeonghan settled with letting go of Joshua's sleeve, wrapping his arms around Joshua's waist and gripping it firmly. It was a bit uncomfortable, having Jeonghan hanging onto his side like that.

"He still buys me everything I want. He even pays me my stay in this shabby village." Jeonghan didn't work. Joshua thought maybe they had the same reason for not working. But Joshua didn't understand why Jeonghan just didn't leave, because he didn't seem to like it here after all.

But Joshua thought it was somehow okay for Jeonghan to be here. Because Jeonghan was always there with him, and Joshua was always _bored_. Joshua didn't like being bored and Jeonghan liked being loved. So Jeonghan's lips always wrapped around the shell of Joshua's ear, biting softly, calling for the other's attention. Joshua took another sip of the bottle swaying dangerously between their legs too close, setting it onto the floor at a fair distance. Jeonghan giggled at that, voice slurred and eyes drowsy.

But Joshua, still, had his hands only on the book in his lap, seemingly ignoring Jeonghan's gentle fingers exploring the skin beneath his shirt. It made Jeonghan huff in annoyance. Because Joshua didn't seem to pay him the attention he wanted today.

"Stop resisting me, _little boy_." There was always some sort of haughtiness laced in his voice, sometimes more, sometimes less. When Jeonghan wanted something, then his words always dripped of it, droplets of it falling onto Joshua's lips for him to savor it with a bitter taste. Jeonghan's hands grabbed after the book, closing it and throwing it into one of the empty corners. And Joshua was so _furious_ his hands grabbed Jeonghan's thighs, gripping them so, so tightly.

Jeonghan only smirked. Because he _thrived_ in Joshua's attention. He _loved_ it when Joshua's eyes only lay on him, not having to share their dark gaze with anything else. His lips throbbed when Joshua's own captured them uncomfortably, manhandling them with a force no one but Joshua could give him. It made Jeonghan's heart shiver, his fingers tremble, gripping onto Joshua even more tightly.

They somehow worked, Joshua thought as he laid Jeonghan onto the floor, whispering alluring sentences into his ear, compliments that made Jeonghan shiver in pleasure.

They somehow worked. Because Joshua had too few emotions and Jeonghan had too many. It was some sort of a _balance_.

* * *

  
  


The village hasn't changed much. Soonyoung still left the wrong house, Jun still talked to ghosts and Mingyu still pined after Wonwoo from a distance. Seungcheol still never left the bakery, Seungkwan still always trailed behind Vernon like a personal pet, Seokmin still sang in the church choir, Jihoon still always worked and Chan still is never to be found. The village hasn't changed much, but Wonwoo was antsier than usual.

Wonwoo had only been sitting in his office all day all week, writing protocols over protocols, making phone calls over phone calls. But he had his eyes _everywhere_. It was important, because Wonwoo somehow needed to come to his revelations to write all those protocols he was always slumped over in his dark office.

There was a pattern. A pattern Minghao always had to follow. The church bells rang every day at seven o'clock. After an hour of church, with intermissions of singing from the choir with Seokmin, Minghao kept sitting in the benches of the church, seemingly praying to God until half past eight. At nine, Minghao always bought his rye bread, never leaving out on giving more money than needed to the old lady, taking place on a bench opposite the bakery for the rest of the morning. At twelve, Minghao started his work at Wonwoo's office, talking to Wonwoo before the other's first session one hour later.

When the sun left the village, Wonwoo started to work. _Really_ work. The only sound that could be heard then was the scraping of the quill over the parchment spread out in front of him. Wonwoo's eyes always drooped, fatigue brooding deep inside of them. But Wonwoo had instructions to follow, so he didn't give in to his eyelids falling every two minutes.

Wonwoo was intelligent. When you were intelligent, the world always seemed a tad too unbearable. Joshua's parents had found him in the middle of a crisis, when Joshua had started liking the shabby village he was forced to live in just a tad _too much_. When Joshua had started spinning his marionette-strings between minds and souls and hearts a tad _too surely_.

Wonwoo was all soft edges with a kind smile and a sharp mind. But deep inside his eyes, behind all the fatigue clouding his mind, you could see how he wished he hadn't accepted the offer of Joshua's parents, how he wished he hadn't stayed three years already in this little village.

Wonwoo had his eyes _everywhere_.

Wonwoo knew _everything_.

Wonwoo knew how every time Joshua got too cocky again, there was another pill, occasionally another two pills of morphine vanishing out of the closet filled with medicine. Wonwoo knew how Joshua keeps on manipulating Mingyu just to get what he wanted, seemingly _needed_. Wonwoo knew how Joshua walks around playing with the citizen's minds just to get them on his side, just for them to give him everything he wanted. Wonwoo knew how Joshua plainly _destroyed_ Jeonghan's system, _ruined_ every attempt of Jeonghan to live an adequate life in this little village.

And Wonwoo was _so sick_ of it. Besides all of the fatigue in his eyes, there was also always sadness floating around, agony from having to watch all of this without being allowed to intervene.

Wonwoo has been observing Joshua and the village for three years now. The village hasn't changed much, but Wonwoo was antsier than usual.

Because lately he could see Joshua walking around more often, with Jeonghan always trailing behind him, hanging on his sleeves.

And Wonwoo was astonished, downright _flabbergasted_. Because he could see Joshua walking around more often, with Jeonghan always hanging on his sleeves. And every time they came near someone, having someone's eyes on them, Jeonghan made a show out of pulling Joshua flush against him, pressing a kiss onto Joshua's set lips. Wonwoo believed it was an act of Jeonghan to compensate for the love he was denied from the others, to show them he was great even without them.

It made Wonwoo tense, antsy, _nervous_. Because he should be sitting in his dark office already, slumped over his desk and scribbling his protocols onto the parchment in a scratching tune.

But Wonwoo was so _afraid_. Because he feared this outcome would not please Joshua's parents, was not the one they _wanted_.

When Joshua's parents had sent Jeonghan, Wonwoo had been _skeptical_. Because it was like fighting fire with fire, like they wanted for this village to just _explode_.

But Wonwoo had also been somehow _expectant_. Because it would be interesting to observe how Joshua would react, how far Joshua would _go_.

So Wonwoo entered his little office, sitting down on his creaky chair and setting the tip of the quill onto the parchment. The only sound that could be heard for a good amount of time then was the scraping of the quill. After dipping the quill into the ink one last time, Wonwoo ended his protocol for Joshua's parents with one final paragraph:

_'To conclude based on Joshua Hong's aforementioned actions, Sociopaths are undoubtedly able to take any measures necessary to ensure their system and influence won't be disturbed. Sociopaths in the range of Joshua Hong, formerly declared as a "Self-aware Sociopath", can even manage Narcissists, which are supposedly in the same spectrum as Sociopaths themselves._

_Consequently, Sociopathy with the addition of "Self-awareness" constitutes as a part of the group of personality disorders perilous to humanity, and people suffering from this personality disorder should therefore be secluded from civilization._

_Dr. Dr. Jeon Wonwoo,_ _13th October 1963_ _'_

When Wonwoo rolled up the parchment, a sigh left his lips, heavy with the wish he hadn't accepted the offer of Joshua's parents three years ago.

**Author's Note:**

> It was fairly difficult writing from the point of view of a Sociopath, cause I normally like including emotions over emotions in my writings but that's just not how Sociopaths work-  
> But I think it turned out fairly okay?
> 
> I hope you liked it!! And I hope I was able to present the inner workings of Joshua in this fic!
> 
> I'd love to hear your thoughts, so you can gladly leave them in the comments below :3
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/DieAvocadoTwins)


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